13.19 The Embarrassing Shadows of Our Past

It is terrifying, isn’t it?

To think of all the embarrassing shadows and skeletons hidden in Our Past...

To ponder the parts of our Backward Looking Story we hoped we would never have to tell...

To think of the things that we once actually believed, and the embarrassing conversations we had and things we said in our ignorance…

To the think of the thoughts and behaviors those paradigms and our own inner darkness compelled us towards, and which we actually enacted.

What an embarrassing and dysfunctional script! What horrific shadows are buried in our past. It makes us shudder.

We harmed, we extracted, and we destroyed.

We were complicit in perpetuating the systems and ideas we know see were destroying us and the world.

We fought to perpetuate beliefs, paradigms and structures we are now beginning to see for what they are.

As I write this, I weep. For us All.

We were born into it. We couldn’t see. Or we saw, but we didn’t have the courage yet to speak and to risk rejection and ostracization. So we went along with it. We were silent. Or we participated.

Perhaps over time, we even became numb and forgot that our childlike Spirit thought it was wrong.

Every one of us is complicit in and responsible for the total suffering of all humanity and all creation. If you are not ready to face that burden, it is ok. I will take it all on. I am responsible for it all.

I tolerated and perpetuated the paradigms and structures through my conscious and unconscious beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions.

I tolerated and participated in the destructive paradigms of the Old World.

I fueled them through tolerance, my participation, my purchases, and perhaps most damning, my silence and inaction.

They only still because we tolerate them and fail to act competently and with the full force of functional unity to transform them.

Every violation of the Way, every shadow, ever potential vice, is also within me. I can sense the Patterns of Death. I have tasted somewhere in my heart or mind every one of their forbidden fruits. I am guilty in some shade of every deviation from Perfect Light. I bear the total responsibility.

Thank God for Mercy and Justice. Thank God that my sins and failures are washed white as snow.

I acknowledge all that ways that the thoughts words and actions that flowed through me hindered our collective progress towards The Goal. I acknowledge all the ways that the thoughts words and actions that didn't flow through me hindered our collective progress towards The Goal.

I pray that God would extend his Mercy and Forgiveness to me, just as I extend it to All who have harmed and hindered me.

To every single being who I have harmed, either directly or through my silent perpetuation of the systems and paradigms choking out your life…

I am truly, and very deeply sorry. I am truly, and very deeply embarrassed.

I offer All of myself to All of the world and to God as reparations for your suffering. All I am is all I have to offer in At-One-Ment.

How can I help set things right?

Forward to 13.20 Fear, Mistakes, and Shame
Back to 13.18 What Do I Do and Where Do I Begin?
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